I swear she didn't look like that last week.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
