tell your sister to shave her snatch
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just had sex on a roof
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i out mim tonsoeep
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