Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
