you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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