Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
