As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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