You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
