Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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