i think my tv is drunk
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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