People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
