i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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