Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
