dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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