i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
