He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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