why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
