i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
