Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
