Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
