I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
