i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My vagina just clenched in fear
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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