SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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