and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
