it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
