Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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