I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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