Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
