I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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