Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
