ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
