Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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