First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize