There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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