Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
