look no pants
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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