Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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