No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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