is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
