Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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