Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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