found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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