It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
