Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
