if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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