if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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