id be glad to
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
