he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
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