I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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