All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize