Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
