Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
