Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
