just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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