look no pants
she woke up with a sticky ear
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
