i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
