I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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