What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
