he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
