He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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